


destruction makes the world burn brighter

by dearly



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Artist Ben, Canon Universe, Dreams, Dreamsharing, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gothic, Gothic Elements, Mustafar (Star Wars), Rebecca AU, artist rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-10-05 21:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20495675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearly/pseuds/dearly
Summary: When he was nearly within reach, he extended the blade—or was it his hand?—but everything faded to black before she was certain.Panting, she bolted upright in her bed and wiped away the sweat clinging to her forehead.She’d dreamt of Jakku again.





	1. Ossus

**Author's Note:**

> “...sooner or later in the life of everyone comes a moment of trial. We all of us have our particular devil who rides us and torments us, and we must give battle in the end.”  
-Daphne Du Maurier, _Rebecca_
> 
> Something inside of her rises and she knows  
Destruction makes the world burn brighter  
-[Chelsea Wolfe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZ4Rj3bwx2Y)
> 
> A playlist for this fic can be found [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0AD2pHGPgRFzKwRowiONpB).
> 
> Thank you to politicalmamaduck and crossingwinter for their help and guidance <3

_The fire, a blazing fury against the night sky, blinded her. For a moment, she only heard the screams and smelled the acrid smoke from the torched village burning around her. As her vision adjusted to the brightness, she saw white-armored troops leading groups of scared villagers just woken from their slumber. Sudden blaster fire erupted from behind one of the untouched huts, causing a round of return fire from another group of approaching troopers. Though clearly outnumbered, a few of the villagers had decided on not going peacefully. _

_ Amidst the chaos, a dark ship silently descended, its strange bat-like wings folding into itself with an ominous grace. _

_ She watched mesmerized as the ship’s ramp lowered with a swirl of sand and two lines of troopers marched out, blasters raised to strike. In between them, a shadowy figure stepped forward. Tall, masked, and dressed in black, the phantom-like apparition halted at the bottom of the ramp and scanned the scene. Whatever lay behind the mask seemed uninterested in the destruction taking place, instead intent on searching for something._

_ When his focus landed on her, he stopped and stared as though he’d found what he’d been looking for. _

_Or _someone_._

_ With long, confident strides, he began moving towards her. Panicked, she tried to run, but her legs remained fixed to the spot. _

_ A gloved hand moved to his waist and clasped around a glint of metal. In one fluid motion, he drew it out and the weapon ignited into a red, crackling blade of glowing plasma. _

_ He continued on without breaking form, closing the gap between them. _

_ No matter how hard she struggled, she could not run. _

_ When he was nearly within reach, he extended the blade _ — _ or was it his hand? _ — _ but everything faded to black before she was certain._

Panting, she bolted upright in her bed and wiped away the sweat clinging to her forehead.

She’d dreamt of Jakku again.

***

_ **Ossus** _

_ It’s only a dream, _she said to herself, repeating the words as she laid back against the pillow, though her racing heart didn’t seem to listen.

With a sigh of frustration, Rey kicked away the blankets that had become tangled around her legs and swung around to sit on the edge of the bed. Running a hand through her mussed hair, she waited until her pulse steadied, then grabbed the muunyak-wool sweater draped over the back of the desk chair. Shoving the soft material over her head, she exited her room.

The house was silent save for an ancient ticking chrono that echoed down the hall. Knowing Luke to be a light sleeper, she tread lightly down the corridor, past the kitchen and through the living area.

The house Luke was renting had been refurbished from an old Empire-era military outpost. Despite its industrial facade, the interior was surprisingly warm and inviting in soft muted colors, and had been fitted with more comforts than she could’ve ever dreamt in her rusty, hollowed out AT-AT in the Jakku desert. They’d been in the house for nearly a week now and she still wasn’t used to any of it: the furnishings, the controlled temperatures and running water, the spaciousness. She didn’t imagine living in such a place could ever feel normal.

After pulling on her boots that sat by the front door, Rey stepped outside and was immediately grateful for the extra layer of clothing. The Ossian night air was deceptively cool even in the warm season. She shivered as the breeze hit her exposed sweat-dampened skin.

Located at the top of a rocky cliff, the house was bordered at the back by a forest of dead trees that stood as a testament to what had once been a thriving ecosystem. Luke had given her a brief history of the planet and its devastation due to a combination of the Empire’s occupation and a cataclysmic supernova in the nearby Cron system. Though efforts had been made to terraform and restore the planet to its previous lush environment, little of this was evident in their current location. 

Avoiding the forest, she followed a path that ran along the edge of the hill and sat on a smooth boulder when her limbs started to feel heavy. The steep slope provided a rather impressive view of the stark landscape in the daylight. At night though, it was just a vast blur of darkness, an abyss waiting to swallow her whole.

She thought of the dream, scenes from it replaying on a loop in her mind as if it were a memory instead, some tangible experience.

It wasn’t just a recent occurrence. Ever since her lonely life on Jakku, she’d had a particular recurring dream of fire, of chaos, of people that seemed familiar even she couldn’t place them. But when Luke had hired her, and ever since, the dream had only grown in vivid detail. What had once been an abstract scene of destruction had developed into a fully fledged battle with its own monster. It had become a nightmare.

She glanced up, staring into the void pondering the meaning of this mysterious vision, when her eyes caught a flash of white at the bottom of the hill. The planet’s two moons provided just enough light for her to find her way in the dark, but not enough to make out specific objects or plants. Though she knew it was probably a trick of her overstimulated mind, or some hardy creature that had somehow managed to adapt to the environment, she couldn’t stop a chill from creeping down her spine.

Pulling the sleeves of her sweater over her hands, Rey decided she’d had enough adventures for the night and hugged her arms to her body as she hurried back to the house.

*** 

Luke was already downing the last of his caf when she entered the kitchen in the morning.

“Did I hear the front door open last night?” he asked, attempting but failing to be sly, as he set his empty mug in the sink.

“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep so I took a walk.” She shrugged and accepted a steaming mug of caf from C8-S2, the kitchen droid. “Sorry if I woke you.”

Luke crossed his arms and leaned against the counter studying her. He was already dressed for a day out: a happabore leather jacket and long scarf to block the wind on the speeder, sturdy walking trousers, and a pair of well-worn boots designed for long treks in inclement weather. He didn’t say anything, but Rey sensed he could tell that she wasn’t telling the whole truth.

“It was just some weird dream,” she said, hoping it was enough to appease him. It didn’t help her case when she immediately scalded her mouth on an overly generous sip of caf.

Luke grunted under his breath as if he was about to question her explanation but didn’t. In the short time they’d worked together, they’d both learned how to pick their battles when it came to managing each other’s stubbornness.

Since he looked ready to leave, Rey set the mug down on the table and started to walk from the room to get her equipment, but Luke held out a hand stopping her.

“I think I’ll go alone today. You stay here and get some rest. Perhaps we’ve been pushing it too hard the last few days,” he said.

Her natural instinct was to argue, but she realized that she actually wouldn’t mind a day to herself. 

After helping Luke load his gear onto the landspeeder, she watched him take off down the slope and turn towards the direction of the Ossian mountains before heading back to the house.

She finished off the rest of the now-lukewarm caf, but declined Cee-ate’s menu suggestions, instead opting for a piece of Jogan fruit to serve as breakfast. 

She spent the morning tidying her room and finishing up the summaries of their findings of the previous few days in her datapad, but by midday the fresh air called to her.

Stuffing her sketchpad and an extra sweater into a backpack, she exited the house and headed down the hill towards the forest, eating one of Cee-ate’s leftover flatcakes along the way.

The dark trunks loomed over her, the spidery bare branches creating a web that partially blocked out the grey skies above. She wove a path through the trees, leaving a trail of footprints in the parched soil that likely hadn’t been disturbed for decades. When she came to a clearing that overlooked a valley where an overgrown meadow might once have blossomed, she sat beneath a tree and rested her back against its firm trunk. Pulling out her sketchpad, she drew several different versions of the scene before her, both in its current desolate state, and how she imagined it used to be: a lush abundance of flowering plants and wildlife.

At some point, lulled by the quiet and the mild breeze, she drifted off into a dreamless slumber. When she woke, bathed in an orange glow, she was startled to see the suns shining low in the sky, signaling that several hours had passed. 

She jolted to her feet, brushing the twigs and dirt from her leggings, and shoved the fallen sketchpad back in her bag.

As she turned to walk back home, her eyes spotted a dark form deep in the forest and as it caught the light of the setting suns she could tell it was definitely not a tree, but when she blinked to clear her vision, it was gone.

_ Just a trick of the light, _ she thought, shuddering even as she mentally waved it off.

Picking up the pace, she retraced her path back to the house, the distance now seeming twice as far, and by the time she made it back up the hill, her pulse was thundering in her ears and her calves throbbed with pain.

Both suns now dipped below the horizon and she knew Luke would be on his way home.

Making a quick stop in her room, she dumped the backpack on her bed before she grabbed a change of clothes and headed to the refresher. A quick shower washed off the sweat and grime of the day, but even as the hot water pounded her skull, she shivered at the thought of something watching her in the forest as she slept. 

Back in her room, she sorted through the clothes that needed to be cleaned and set aside a pile to give to the laundry droid. The backpack, she noticed as she was separating piles, had landed with a bounce, and spilled its contents across the bed.

As she gathered up the items to put away, Rey discovered that her sketchpad had landed face open to a drawing that was slightly obscured by one of her tunics.

Something about it striking her as odd, she lifted the book to inspect the drawing but immediately dropped it as if burned when she saw the image on the page.

Her own eyes stared back at her, sketched in dark strokes in an expert hand. 

Rey had never drawn a self portrait.

***

She didn’t know how long she stood still, staring at the book on the bed, but the sound of Luke entering the house and the friendly beeps of Artoo snapped her focus back to the present.

With trembling hands, she stuffed the sketchpad back into her bag, willing herself to calm down before Luke could notice, but a knock on the door ruined the idea.

“Rey? May I enter?”

It was like he already knew. 

She took a deep breath.

“Is everything alright in there?” he asked after the silence lasted just a moment too long.

She pressed the button to open the panel and forced a smile she knew he could instantly tell was fake. “Of course,” she said.

Luke entered, weatherworn and slightly dusty from his journey across the plains, and took a wary look around the room before he focused his attention back on her. 

“When I hired you, my only rule was that you be honest with me. Always.” He sighed and ran a hand through his windblown grey hair. “Look, I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with, but I’m here for you. I’m on your side, Rey. I feel like you’re holding something back from me. Let me help you.”

It was no use trying to lie, not to Luke Skywalker. She knew that Luke had seen or felt something and denying it would only make him press her further.

And frankly, she was ready to get it off her chest.

She sat on the edge of the bed, and Luke followed suit, sitting on the desk chair with folded hands, and waited for her to speak.

“I have these dreams,” she began, “well, one in particular. It’s sort of a recurring dream I’ve had since I was a young girl on Jakku. These past few months, ever since I left to work with you, this dream has started feeling more real, like it’s actually a scene I’m living in and there’s this man—_ somebody _—wearing a mask who comes after me.” A shiver ran through her at the thought of the crackling red blade causing her to grab the blanket at her sides and squeeze it in her fists.

“When I woke from it last night, I could still feel it on my skin—the sand and the heat—so I decided to take a walk to get some fresh air and clear my head. But when I was outside, I thought I saw something. It felt like somebody was out there, watching me, which is impossible out here in the middle of nowhere, but—I can’t explain it. I just know it was _ something_.” She paused to gauge Luke’s reaction, expecting to see some degree of confusion or judgement, but his expression was pensive. He allowed her to continue uninterrupted.

“And then today, I was out walking in the forest and I felt it again when I woke from a nap. I thought I saw somebody this time, or their shadow. I don’t know. It was like one minute they were there and the next minute they weren’t.” 

Sucking in a breath through her teeth, she bent to grab the sketchpad out of her bag. Her breath hitched when she found the drawing.

“And then when I got home I discovered this.” 

She handed the book to Luke and saw a flicker of something pass in his eyes.

He looked up at her and then back at the drawing and swallowed.

After a long moment of studying the page, he snapped the book shut and handed it back to Rey.

“Do you remember when we first met and I asked you if you’d ever thought you were different from other children?”

She was thrown by the change of direction in the conversation, but trusted that he had a reason.

She nodded. “I told you that I’ve always had this feeling inside me, some ability that I didn’t quite understand. I asked you to teach me.”

“Luke Skywalker, a Jedi legend,” he scoffed. “That’s what the galaxy calls me.”

He shook his head as a weariness settled in his eyes, shoulders slumped forward. “What I did—destroying the Death Star, helping the Rebellion win against the Empire—that’s all they remember. That’s all everyone thinks of me. They put me on a pedestal because of a few things I did in a short period of time when I was younger.”

“But without you, we would still be ruled by the Empire.”

Luke shrugged. “Perhaps, but likely someone else would’ve stepped in and stopped them if I hadn’t. I mean it wasn’t just me out there staring down the whole Empire with a lightsaber. I had a whole army of people fighting with me.”

“But you can use the Force. Not everyone can do that.”

He studied Rey for a long moment. “True, but again I’m not the only one.”

“Then why wouldn’t you train me?” She heard the hurt in her own voice.

He looked down at his hands in his lap and clenched them into fists. “I had a student once—my nephew, Ben. From an early age, it was clear that he was strong with the Force. Almost in a way that was painful to him. He would cry the whole night sometimes and nothing my sister or brother-in-law did would soothe him. But he wasn’t an unhappy child, not all the time. He was bright, energetic, a bit shy around the other kids but friendly. He was a good kid.” Luke paused, his eyes suddenly wet before he blinked away the tears.

“When his abilities started showing stronger and becoming more erratic, Leia suggested I train him. It seemed natural that I, his Force-wielding uncle who discovered his own abilities around that age, should be able to guide him. And at first, it went well. He was desperate to learn, that desire poured out of him—to learn, to control things. But I underestimated his abilities. The more I trained him, the more powerful I realized he would become. It scared me.”

He ran a hand through his hair and Rey noticed a subtle tremor in the movement.

“It was the darkness waging inside him that frightened me the most. It was like he was fighting a war in his head that I couldn’t reach. Something was calling him and I couldn’t stop it. Ultimately, I failed him because I couldn’t be the teacher to guide him when he needed me most.”

“So what happened?”

“He took off. I—I tried to read his thoughts one night, because he wouldn’t talk to me about what he was experiencing and he woke up and saw the lightsaber I had with me for protection. He saw the fear in my eyes and ran away. I can’t say I really blame him.”

“And you haven’t seen him since?”

Luke shook his head.

“But I still don’t understand what this has to do with me.”

Luke sighed. “I think it’s time we take a little break from our work here. There are some things I need to show you for this to make sense.”

He stood without another word, his decision made.

They departed the next morning, setting their course for Dagobah.


	2. Dagobah

_ **Dagobah** _

Rey had been to Dagobah only once before, when they had made a brief trip to stock up on supplies after Luke had first hired her.

If there was one aspect of the place that had made an impression on her, it was the ever-present fog that enshrouded the planet like a thick blanket, filtering the light to a dim haze no matter the time of day. Used to a scavenger’s life that meant rising with the sun, the lack of variation between day and night had thrown Rey off balance.

Landing the ship took extra care in order to avoid the marshlands and swamps and Rey thanked the stars when they at last touched down on solid ground.

Stepping down the ramp, they were hit with a wall of humidity that instantly made the loose strands of Rey’s hair curl and stick to her face and neck. 

Luke’s home was located in the caves in the side of a cliff and they both sighed with relief when they stepped into the cooler, drier underground air.

The tunnels wound and twisted, seeming to stretch on forever, but Luke navigated them with ease and soon they were inside his surprisingly comfortable dwelling.

He made them a pot of Yarba tea as Rey unpacked the supplies for their stay. When she walked back into the living area, Luke was sitting on a cushion on the floor with a stack of parchments next to him.

“Sit down,” he said, patting the spot next to him. “I want to show you something.”

Rey obeyed and he passed her the paper that he had been studying.

It was a drawing in pencil: a sketch of a beautiful woman with delicate features that shone through even in the rough strokes and hair that was twisted into a complicated braid. Though it was the work of an amateur, the careful attention to detail in the shimmer in the eyes and shading in the strands of hair showed hints of impressive talent.

“It’s my sister Leia, done by my nephew, Ben. All of these are his work,” he said, gesturing to the papers before them.

He handed her each of them one at a time, and even with Rey’s untrained eye she could see the artist’s skill increasing with each piece. There were several portraits and some landscapes and as they got towards the end of the stack, Rey realized that she’d seen his work before. Quite recently in fact.

“The sketch in my book. It was him.”

Luke exhaled a long slow breath. “As you can see his skill has improved, but I would recognize those pencil strokes anywhere.”

As she looked through the sketches more carefully, she noticed the gradual increase of darker tones and abstract boldness. With fewer clean lines and controlled strokes, there was a wildness, a palpable chaotic energy present in the later drawings.

“Something changed over the years,” she said, pointing at the differences in the pictures. “What happened to Ben? What was he fighting in his mind?”

The question hung between them. It was obvious that it was one that had haunted Luke for a long time.

“I wish I knew,” he said finally, with a strain in his voice that he didn’t bother to hide.

“Well, he’s come back—or followed us somehow. Maybe he’s ready to talk to you.”

“It isn’t that simple, Rey.” He sounded so tired, almost defeated.

The kettle whistled, and Luke went to the kitchen leaving Rey to ponder what this mysterious Skywalker family had been hiding from her and each other.

***

After tea and a light meal of porridge, a distracted Luke excused himself to rest in his room and Rey decided to take the opportunity to finally explore the strange planet.

Leaving a marked trail to help her on her return, she made her way out of the caves and into the murky swampland. 

Even though it was just after mid-day, the same dusky greenish-grey gloom hung over the planet as if time had been standing still.

She walked along the edge of a pond entranced by the hum of the creatures that lived in the cloudy water and the soil that squelched beneath her boots. The sounds of the wildlife echoed off the cliff creating a lively soundtrack for her excursion. 

She knew that Luke had a history on the planet, it being the home of his Jedi master, but she wondered other than nostalgia why anyone would want to call such a place home.

A pebble became lodged in her boot and leaning against a tree trunk, she paused to remove the shoe and shake it free. Once it was replaced, she looked up and saw a dark figure standing in the grove of gnarltrees. This time when she blinked the figure was still there, though she couldn’t quite make out the shape in the dim light.

Then with just a slight movement, it started to move away from her. “Wait,” she called out. “Please. I won’t hurt you. I just want to talk to you.”

She felt a flutter in her stomach, but it was more from nerves than fear. _ Why wasn’t she afraid? _

The shadow turned as if to leave but stopped and as Rey stepped closer, his form took shape—a man, she was sure of it now.

He was tall, nearly a head taller than her, and large with a broad chest and long limbs. A dark, hooded cloak hid his face, but the long flowing fabric accentuated his size. 

As she approached him, she saw the rise and fall of his chest: he was breathing heavily. If he was like her, it wasn’t from exertion alone.

She stopped just short of an arm's length away from him and she could nearly make out the pale face beneath the hood.

“I know who you are,” she said, pausing to see if he reacted. He didn’t. 

“Ben.” It came out softly, as an offer of friendship. The name felt pleasantly intimate on her lips. “I’m Rey.” 

“I know who you are too,” a deep voice responded. Then, two gloved hands slowly raised to the hood and slipped it off his head onto his shoulders.

She swallowed her surprise. He looked younger than she’d imagined, perhaps because of the dark waves of hair that fell into his eyes and framed his face. Even in the dim light, she made out the brown eyes studying her with unguarded curiosity. A long nose drew her eyes down to his parted mouth, with full flushed lips.

He was not what she’d expected at all.

Even though he loomed over her, there was nothing threatening in his demeanor. 

His expression was one of intense interest. He continued studying her, eyes darting across her face in a way that made her blush under such focus, and seemed content to wait for her to make any kind of first move.

Rey stepped closer, her body drawn towards him as if by some unseen connection before she remembered the discussion with Luke.

The Force. He was a Force user and she too, however untrained.

And then she realized: “You’re not actually here, are you?” 

“No,” he said.

“But how is it possible?”

“I don’t know,” he said, with the faintest hint of a smile. “It just happened one day. In the forest. I—I could see you.”

A shadow passed over his face, dulling his eyes. “I hadn’t seen another person in so long that I thought I was dreaming.” His voice lowered even further. “It wouldn’t have been the first time.”

_ I thought I was dreaming. _At the phrase, she felt a twinge of something familiar.

After the way Luke had described him, how he’d taken off, enraged and lost, this picture of calm and quiet stood in sharp contract of how she’d thought of his nephew.

“Where are you right now?” she asked, looking behind him as if she could peer into his world. But there was only forest.

He backed away from her, straightening his spine. “Where no one can find me.”

“But why? Why did you run away?”

He turned away from her and Rey risked a step closer.

“Don’t. Don’t leave me.”

“I don’t think we have much more time,” he said.

“Can we meet again? Soon?”

“I don’t have control over this,” Ben said with a flick of his gloved hand toward her.

“I’ll wait for you tomorrow,” she said anyways.

His eye twitched, lips parting as if he meant to respond, but he didn’t and the connection between them broke a moment later, leaving her completely alone.

***

Rey returned to the same spot the following morning, but Ben wasn’t there, nor did he appear during the hour she waited. Cursing herself for hoping it would be so easy, she wandered through the trees and up onto a hill where there was a ledge that overlooked the lake. She sat on the edge and stared into the water when a pale face suddenly appeared in the ripples next to hers. 

With an almost aching relief, she looked up and saw him standing next to her, his forehead creased as he studied her.

“I wasn’t sure if we’d meet again like this.”

“Nor I,” he said. 

He stood still for a moment longer, staring into the rippling water before he sat a distance away from her.

“Ahch-To,” he said, finally meeting her eyes.

“What?”

“It’s where I am right now. On an island, staring out at the ocean. No one around, but a couple of caretakers and some porgs.”

Rey had never seen an ocean before. She had no idea what a porg was.

“I’ve never heard of it,” she said.

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “That’s why I came here.”

“Why do you want to be alone?”

“It’s safer. For everyone.”

“But your uncle could have helped you.”

“So he told you everything, did he?” There was an edge to his voice now; his nostrils flared at just the subtlest mention of Luke.

“Not everything.” She sighed. “I’m not trying to pry, but maybe I can help you. If we’re being connected like this, then there must be a reason for it.”

“This isn’t the first time this has happened to me.” He was carefully selecting his words now. “Ever since I was younger I’ve heard a voice in my head. Only it’s not just a sound, it’s an energy, like I can actually feel something pulling me, leading me. For years I just tried to bury it, ignore it, do whatever it took to drown out the sound, the feeling. I thought maybe I was just crazy.

As I grew up, I realized I could control things in a way other people couldn’t. My parents knew this even before I did and told me I was strong with the Force, like my uncle. When things got really bad, they sent me off to Luke to train, but the voice in my head only got louder. I couldn’t ignore it anymore and I started lashing out. Luke tried to help me control it, but it was useless. I finally gave in and listened.

The voice told me to go to Mustafar, to my grandfather’s castle.”

“Darth Vader,” Rey said, then flinched. “I’m sorry. Luke told me about that too.”

Ben nodded, resigned. “There was a strange creature sitting on the throne when I arrived, waiting for me. He said his name was Snoke and that he would help me use my powers to become even more powerful than my grandfather had been.

He showed me visions of the future. One where I was a leader, commanding ships and armies of stormtroopers. But it was full of death and destruction and I was the cause of it all. In an instant my powers became evil and twisted and I wanted no part of it. 

So I fled that planet as well. I fled everything I had ever known. I travelled throughout the galaxy before ending up here on Ahch-To, as far from everyone as possible.” He sighed. 

“But you shouldn’t have to be alone. You never did anything wrong. Perhaps, those visions weren’t bound to be true. Maybe they were only one possible future, the future this Snoke person wanted you to see.”

“But what if it was?” He shook his head. “It’s better this way.”

“Ben,” she said sternly, “you don’t have to be alone.”

He stood and started to walk away. Rey followed.

“Can I come see you? On Ahch-To?”

He scoffed and faced her. “You want to come here?”

She nodded. “I can help you, Ben. At least let me try.”

When he realized she was serious, he stared at her, completely bewildered.

“That’s not a good idea, Rey.”

*** 

Despite the warning, an hour later she was sitting at the controls of Luke’s ship with the course set for Ahch-To.

She had been prepared for an argument with Luke, but when she told him what she was doing he had simply nodded and said if she felt the Force calling her she should go. And that was that.

Luke said he had an old X-wing from his Alliance days stored away for emergencies—though the only ship she thought she glimpsed was hidden beneath the water’s surface—and let her have the cargo vessel for her mission.

With the final coordinates dialed in and Artoo, another loan at Luke’s insistence, beeping happily beside her, the ship lifted off, drifting above the green-gray fog, before she punched them into the familiar blur of hyperspace.


	3. Ahch-To, Mustafar

_ **Ahch-To** _

Ahch-To could not have been more different than Dagobah, or any of the few planets on which she had ever spent any time.

The lone island was barely visible until she entered the planet’s lower atmosphere, just a small speck of rock in an endless blue ocean. If she raised a hand out in front of her, she could have blocked it out with just a thumb.

As she maneuvered the ship closer, the island’s features gradually came into view: steep hills, rocky shores, an impressive stone staircase that wound around the high cliffs.

She made a few laps around the island until she found a flat area on the beach to land. The small freighter just barely nestled in the space, its landing gears settling gently into the dark sand.

Artoo beeped a string of questions and started to follow her down the ramp, but Rey ordered him to stay with the ship.

She wanted to do this alone.

After a quick survey of the island to gather her bearings, she began the long trek up the steep stairs. 

Though a seemingly arduous task, she felt the pull of some energy. _ Is this the Force,_ she thought as she climbed. She submitted herself to it, letting it guide her.

Clouds moved across the sky blocking the twin suns and produced a fine mist that beaded on her poncho and cooled her skin.

When she reached the peak, she did not feel tired, but rather alive and thrumming with energy.

She saw him then, standing by a large rock formation that sat on a ledge overlooking the entire island, waiting for her.

“Rey,” he breathed out, almost as stunned to see her in the flesh as she was to see him. “You shouldn’t have come.”

***

She sat in one of the stone huts in front of a roaring fire, a blanket draped around her shoulders after he’d noticed her shivering once they were inside.

Wordlessly, he handed her a bowl filled with stew. A sniff told her it was some kind of salty fish. She took a cautious bite and was relieved to discover it was delicious, though she would’ve eaten it anyway. She gulped down half of it before she realized just how starved she was.

Ben, sitting across from her, stared into his bowl without taking a bite. 

“I just think,” Rey said in between bites, “that you should be more proactive about this—take a stand, you know. You shouldn’t let Snoke, or whoever, dictate your life. You make your own choices.”

“You don’t understand,” Ben said, his voice edging harshly in a way she hadn’t heard before. “It isn’t that simple. You don’t know what he’s like, how dangerous he is.”

“Then take me to him. Let me decide for myself.”

“What, and let him destroy you too?”

“Listen, we’re both strong with the Force. We can work together. Why else did the Force connect us if not for this purpose?”

He did not answer her.

They finished the meal in silence.

*** 

She woke and found herself alone. The blanket had been placed over her and the fire was reduced to a few smoldering embers.

Feeling rejuvenated, she grabbed the quarterstaff that was lying at her feet and went in search of Ben.

She found him sitting on one of the flat rocks overlooking the cliffs, looking at the horizon in contemplative thought.

“Do you know what this is, Rey?”

He picked up a metallic object at his side and held it out to her. 

“A lightsaber.” She’d seen the one Luke had stashed away, even ignited it once when he wasn’t there. The glowing blue weapon had felt powerful in her hands and made her quarterstaff feel clunky in comparison. Ben’s weapon was modified differently, with a cross hilt and a wider base.

“I created it during my time on Mustafar with a kyber crystal given to me by Snoke. I had to bleed it, I—” His voice caught and he had to take a moment to gather his composure before speaking again. “Afterwards, I had visions of using it on innocent people. I don’t know why I’ve kept it. I should’ve destroyed it long ago.”

“Maybe because its true purpose has yet to be fulfilled, to defeat that which is your true enemy,” Rey offered.

He stared at the weapon in his hand, considering her answer.

“I’m going, Ben, whether you come or not.”

“Rey…”

“I’ve had visions too, or dreams rather. I’ve seen my parents return after abandoning me as a little girl. I’ve seen a village on my home planet burning, innocent people being slaughtered. I’ve seen a figure dressed in black with a red lightsaber.”

Ben’s jaw tightened as he met her eyes. “What?”

“We can end this together, rid the galaxy of this evil. Come with me.”

He remained unmoved.

Rey turned from him and walked away. 

When she was halfway down the stone stairs, she looked up and saw his dark form following behind.

Her reluctant shadow.

***

_ **Mustafar** _

Mustafar burned red hot among the stars. Its heat radiated through the ship before they’d even broken through the upper atmosphere. The ship trembled as it descended through the clouds, fighting against the oppressive clouds.

When they did finally make it through, Rey shuddered at the sight that greeted them: rivers of lava that sliced through the planet’s dark surface like open wounds, geysers spraying steam and silt that rained down like dark crystals, barren rocky plains that seemed to stretch on forever.

It was the most unwelcoming place she had ever seen.

With Ben’s assistance, they maneuvered the ship to the specific coordinates on the Gahenn plains.

The castle appeared as though it had risen from the obsidian rock of its own volition, with its sharp tower jutting through the dark clouds high above. It was an intimidating structure even from a safe distance.

The closer the ship got, the more her heart dropped at the thought of Ben spending any length of time in such a bleak place. 

She looked over at Ben who watched out the viewport with a forced calmness that made her uneasy.

It took awhile to find a solid landing space safe from the hot spots that dotted the landscape.

Artoo beeped his usual string of concerns that Rey forced down with a swallow.

“I know,” she said, trying to ease the droid. “But we’ll manage somehow.”

Ben just glared at this attempt at positivity.

Despite the heat, they dressed in layers to protect from burns from steam and flying debris: Ben in his long black cloak, and Rey with her arm wraps and an extra hooded tunic. 

Contrasting figures of dark and light, they made their way carefully across the desolate land. Ben’s familiarity with the place helped them avoid any of the most dangerous spots, but with the ever-changing nature of the planet's atmosphere, his experience could only guide them so far.

The castle was the only structure in the near vicinity, and Rey wondered how it existed at all. Who could live in such a devastating place? How could even the most troubled of souls bear it?

Ben trudged on ahead of her, a hand hovering at his waist.

When she caught up to him, he unclipped the saber from his belt and held it out to her.

“Just in case—” he said, and without waiting for an answer showed her the button on the hilt and ignited the weapon.

A thrill went down her spine upon seeing the crackling red blade, the same one from her dreams.

In reality though, he did not point it at her, but rather placed it in her palm and guided her through a few simple maneuvers until she was comfortable wielding its weight on her own.

He started to walk on again, but she stopped him, deactivated the blade, and handed it back to him, not ready for the responsibility of bearing such an object.

“Only if you promise that you will do everything in your power to stop him, that you’ll take the blade if you need to,” he said.

“I won’t hesitate,” she agreed. 

With the weapon back in hand, he walked on with Rey following closely behind.

*** 

Inside, the castle was lined with the same dark stone, which along with the massive size and high ceilings, moderated the temperature to be almost bearable. There was an acrid, burning smell that permeated every inch of the space and Rey wondered just how much ash she’d already breathed in.

It was a dead place, she realized. Its emptiness crushed down upon her. Strangely, she thought of her parents, who’d left her on Jakku never to return, for whom she’d spent the majority of her life waiting.

This castle felt like a tomb encasing its own grief.

She watched Ben as he moved cautiously ahead of her. She imagined him here: alone, afraid—

No, not alone.

They both straightened at the same time. Coursing energy flowed through her, down her spine to the tips of her fingers, and she knew he’d felt it too.

They were not alone.

Reflexively, he reached for her hand and they stood for a moment in startled silence.

“He’s here,” Ben said in a low whisper. “You can still turn back.”

Rey let his hand drop and readjusted the grip on her quarterstaff. “I’m ready.” 

***

The throne room was located at the far end of the castle.

Its doors slid open as they approached and Rey gasped at its size. The ceiling reached high above them, stretching into an endless black. The back of the room was one huge viewport that overlooked the dark plains and lava rivers. The throne itself sat high on a central circular platform that made it appear as though it was suspended in the air and on it sat a tall, gangly humanoid creature dressed in a fine golden tunic.

When he saw Rey, he grinned. Even from a distance, it was a cruel thing to behold.

Ben walked ahead of her with one arm angled as if to shield her.

“I knew you could not stay away forever, my young apprentice,” Snoke sneered. “And you have brought me an apology gift, I see.”

_ Apprentice?_ _Gift?_ The room started to spin, lights dancing off the shiny surfaces like fireworks. Rey focused her eyes on Ben’s back to control the sudden dizziness.

“I have come for no such reason,” Ben said without any hint of emotion. 

They came to a stop halfway to the platform. While it appeared to Rey that it was a safe enough distance to make an escape, based on what Ben had told her about Snoke the thought didn’t give her much comfort.

“I have come to end this. I will never turn.” He enunciated each word carefully. She watched his chest rise and fall as his breathing became heavier. “You have no power over me.”

Snoke laughed. “Young fool. You have no idea of what I am capable.” 

While he spoke, she saw Ben go rigid before he fell to his knees. As he grabbed his throat, she realized with horror that he was choking. 

“No!” she yelled and instinctively called Ben’s lightsaber to her as she rushed up the stairs to where Snoke sat smirking. 

She didn’t get far. After only making it up a few steps, she was flung backwards into the air, held high above by an unseen hand.

None of this was instantly apparent, however, because her vision disappeared as her head felt like it was being ripped apart. A strange presence invaded her mind, rifling through her innermost thoughts. The more she resisted, the more it probed. She cried out in pain and heard a laugh within her own head.

“Stop!” she heard Ben scream and she fell, slamming into the ground so hard that it stunned her.

When she was able to sit up, ears ringing and bones cracking back into place, Snoke was staring at Ben.

“You are wasting away on the island. This girl before you is what stands between you and unlimited power. Fulfill your destiny.”

Suddenly Rey was on her knees turning around to face Ben, once again under Snoke’s control.

“Kill her. Join me in creating a new order and we will take our rightful place at the head of the galaxy.”

“Never.”

Ben stared at her, fire blazing in his eyes, and then back up at Snoke with the most venomous expression Rey had ever seen. She almost expected poison to drip from his lips.

There was a stare-off between the former master and apprentice, but Rey was still held in place by Snoke and, no matter how hard she struggled, was unable to break free.

Finally, she heard Snoke sigh. “Fine.”

Ben tilted his head in disbelief.

“I’ll just have to kill her myself.”

And then the last sound she heard before blacking out was Ben crying out as her whole body jolted with a blue glow of electricity.

***

When she came to, Ben was lying at her feet, tremors coursing through his body and a gash sliced across his face.

“No, no, no,” she repeated, attempting to rouse him. He must have taken the brunt of the lightning.

Snoke was leaning forward in his chair, looking at them with amusement. “It seems someone’s formed a little attachment.”

The anger flowed through her veins, warming every inch of her body until beads of sweat began to trickle down her forehead and back.

Closing her eyes, she fisted her hands and let the nails dig into the flesh of her palms. The memories of what Luke had told her replayed in her mind._ Balance. Energy. Light. Dark. Death. Decay. Peace. Violence. _

She opened herself to the Force, aware of its presence surrounding her as Snoke continued his barrage of insults.

“You think you can stop me? Pathetic child. You know nothing.”

Her eyes snapped open. She watched Snoke attempt to strike her with lightning again, but this time she was prepared and as the blue-white bolts flew from his fingers she blocked them using the Force as a shield. 

Her rabid yell stirred Ben who attempted to rise, but was unable to find the strength. Blood streamed down his face, dripping onto the floor.

Snoke prepared another strike, and with another deep breath, she dug even deeper, giving herself completely to the Force. In an almost trance, she felt the floor start to quake beneath her feet.

Deeper she went, visualizing the planet, the fire, the destruction—and the walls of the castle started to tremble. 

Snoke now stared at her impressed. “Perhaps I did not need the Skywalker spawn at all. You clearly have potential using the dark side of the Force.”

He looked down at Ben, who still lay half-unconscious on the floor.

“Wasted potential,” he said, almost spitting the words.

“Your failure was thinking that Ben would ever join you,” Rey said just as spitefully.

Snoke considered this. “Then I suppose he is useless to me now.”

As Snoke struck him with lightning, Rey let out a piercing scream and as she did the floor of the room cracked in two, splitting Rey and Ben onto either side.

The whole building groaned under the strain and as large chunks of dark stone started to break from the walls, Rey saw it—the lava that she visualized underneath the castle—bubble up from the crumbling floor.

Snoke rose from the chair, but he was a second too slow as the steps to the throne’s platform split apart and the lava flowed through the widening crevasse.

He only had time to give her one puzzled stare before he fell through the rift and was swallowed by the fiery abyss. 

Rey stared at the empty space where Snoke had been. The walls and floor were quaking with growing force—perhaps the entire planet was trembling, about to split apart and swallow she and Ben along with it. 

She had to act fast.

Fumbling for something to grab onto, something solid, her hands found the quarterstaff lying at her feet.

White-knuckled, she held it with both hands and searched for Ben.

He was fully awake now, sitting up and staring at the gaping hole in the floor and crumbling walls in confusion.

“Rey,” she read on his lips, the deafening sounds of falling debris drowning out his voice.

“Hold on,” she yelled and studied her options. 

Her section of the floor still had access to the exit. She considered the blown out viewport at the head of the room, but a wall of fire blocked their way and she wasn’t sure how far they would have to drop to the ground below.

Remembering how they wound through the castle, she decided that their safest option was to leave the way they entered.

“You’re going to have to jump. Do you think you can make it over to this side?”

Ben blinked at her before a giant chunk of rock fell next to him jerking him to his feet.

“I—I think so. Maybe.”

“Hurry!”

He sucked in a few breaths, looking shaky on his feet, but in one long running leap he cleared the stream of lava and crashed into the floor with a pained cry.

Thanking the Force, she hurried over to him and brushed the hair from his injured face. The wound wasn’t bleeding as severely, though she knew it needed treatment and the sooner the better.

The far wall was disintegrating entirely now and Rey knew it was only a matter of time before the roof caved in.

“Here, lean on me.”

Ben wrapped an arm around her shoulders; he was heavy even without putting his entire weight on her.

_ We can do this_, she repeated to herself as they stumbled out of the collapsing room.

They had to.

*** 

When they were finally out of the castle and a safe enough distance away, they collapsed in a heap onto the ashy soil and watched the destruction unfold.

If they had waited minutes longer, they wouldn’t have made it out. 

The castle, which had looked so threatening, so solid, was now a pile of smoldering rubble. The tower had fallen to the ground with a final crash, before the whole structure was engulfed in a towering inferno of flames.

Rey looked at Ben who was watching the fire with an almost serene expression, as if he were just watching a sunrise.

“We need to go,” she started, but when he turned to look at her with an expression so completely unburdened she lost her train of thought. “The air.” She waved a hand around gesturing toward the smoke that couldn’t be good for their lungs. “And your face, we need to clean that wound.”

Ben swallowed and they stumbled to their feet, taking one last long look at the burning scene of disaster. “You did that. You saved me.”

“Somehow.” She shrugged. “I don’t know, I just felt the anger inside me and I let go. I don’t think Luke will be happy to hear it, if it was the dark side. It’s what he was afraid of all along.”

“Can darkness defeat darkness?” Kylo asked, turning and facing her. A furrow of confusion on his face led her to believe the question was more rhetorical and one he might have pondered before. “You saved my life, but also, the voice in my head, _ his _ voice, the constant noise, it’s all gone now. Total silence. I feel—”

He took one of her hands in both of his, resting a cool palm on top of hers. “I’ll never be able to repay you for what you did.”

She stared into his brown eyes, glinting with firelight. “There is no debt.”

He shook his head in disagreement, but allowed Rey to help him back to the Falcon.

After tending to his injuries and determining that he was stable enough to travel, Ben joined Rey in the cockpit.

“Where should I take you? To your uncle on Dagobah? Or somewhere where you can receive better medical treatment—Coruscant, perhaps?”

Ben shook his head and started punching numbers into the Falcon’s navigation system. 

“There is one place I’ve been dreaming of for a long time, that I would like to finally see, where my grandmother once lived. My mother always spoke of its beauty, but I’ve yet to see it. I was too afraid to go before.”

“Of course. I will take you there.”

He looked pleadingly at her. “I’m not worthy of your care and attention. I’m not a nice man, Rey. I’ve hurt people around me, with the choices I’ve made. But I want to change. I want to repair some of the damage I’ve done. Will you stay with me, Rey, if only for a little while as I figure things out?”

She studied the coordinates he’d punched in and then at the glowing red orb that was receding from view. With a shiver, she made a vow never to return to the wretched place.

Then with a steady hand, she pushed the lever of the ship’s hyperdrive.

“I will,” she said as they launched into the blue glow of hyperspace.


	4. Naboo

_ **Naboo** _

Even after several weeks, she still wasn’t used to waking up with sunlight on her face, at least not the harsh desert sun that had shown through her AT-AT’s rusty cracks. This light was soft, filtered through the red leaves of a large Hydenock tree that stood outside the room’s large viewport, bathing her in a rose-hued glow.

She closed her eyes, luxuriating a moment in the warm, soft nest of blankets.

It was difficult to feel like she deserved such comfort, but each passing day brought her a little closer to believing in the possibility.

She was no one. Nothing. An orphan scavenger from a forgotten planet with a barely a credit to her name.

And yet the Force called to her. Led her to this beautiful oasis, where she was warm and fed. _ Safe_.

It led her to someone. _ You’re not alone. _

Out of all the chaos of the last few months, this was what she thought about late into the night.

Not Snoke, or the power she’d found within her to destroy such a darkness. But _ him_.

She pushed aside the blankets and tiptoed barefoot across the cold stone floor to gaze out the viewport. The bedroom overlooked a large grassy lawn that extended from the garden surrounding the house to the rolling hills in the distance.

He was sitting in a chair that he had dragged into the middle of the lawn, soaking in the morning sunlight just as she had been. 

Ben confounded her. Their connection across a galaxy and now the bond they shared each day, eating together, reading together—sometimes it felt like she was living in one of her dreams.

She slipped a sweater over her sleeping tunic and padded through the cottage and out the open door.

A breeze swirled through the garden and she took a moment to breathe in the sweet scents of the ryoo and millaflowers.

With one of the lounge chairs in tow, she made her way across the lawn, the grass still slightly damp from the morning dew.

When she reached Ben, she discovered he was not asleep like she’d thought. He greeted her with a lazy smile, his eyes squinting in the sunlight. 

The scar on his face remained, faded from an angry red to a jagged pink line. No amount of bacta would ever erase it completely.

He would always have a physical reminder of that day; she couldn’t help but feel guilt whenever she saw it. That she’d led him to his fate.

But he didn’t seem to notice it. He was happier in his subtle way, glowing despite his injuries. _ Free_, he’d once said.

“Hi,” she whispered, sitting in the low chair and stretching out her legs.

He took her hand, her fingers fitting into the space between his thumb and index finger just so.

The relationship had moved slowly. The touching was a fairly recent development—a soft brush of her cheek with his thumb here, a hand combing through his hair there—but they more they did, the more she craved it.

“Sleep well?” he asked, shading his eyes with his free hand.

The dreams hadn’t stopped, but they’d changed. There was no monster haunting her, no burning village. But occasionally she saw fire, a tower stretching into the sky. Sometimes she heard a laugh.

She would never go back to that place or to the person she once was, that much was certain. Their lives had been forever altered.

“For the most part,” she answered.

She saw the concern in his eyes, so she squeezed his hand and told him about the dream she’d had of the blossoming meadow on Ossus. “I was wearing a yellow dress and had flowers in my hair. And you were there.”

He smiled and leaned back in the chair, still watching her.

But the concern soon returned. “You would tell me if you weren’t happy, wouldn’t you? If something was troubling you?”

He knew about her nightmares, both old and new. He’d questioned her endlessly about the scene on Jakku and compared it with the visions he’d had from Snoke until he’d nearly given himself a panic attack. They’d ended up falling asleep together in his bed that night and had woken tangled in each other’s arms.

Ever since she’d tried to spare him some of the details.

“I promise,” she said, leaning back in the chair and closing her eyes. “Though I don’t see how I could ever be unhappy here.”

He hummed in agreement and they drifted into a comfortable silence. 

They both had scars, seen and unseen, but a hope within her had awakened that no threat of darkness could ever extinguish.

***

Later in her room, she found a piece of paper resting on her bed. They’d been together all morning so he must have slipped it there when she had stopped in the kitchen for a cup of caf.

She gasped when she saw the drawing.

It was a portrait of her, intricately detailed in soft pastels that must have taken hours of work.

She was standing in a lush green meadow, wearing a long flowing yellow dress with delicate flowers woven into her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Rebecca_ is one of my favorite books so I hope you liked my SW take on it.
> 
> You can find me mostly on twitter these days [@thiscaringlark](https://twitter.com/thiscaringlark) and occasionally on tumblr [@cosmicforces](https://cosmicforces.tumblr.com/). Don't hesitate to say hi!
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


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